Just the Tip

Don't Pick At It


IF YOU PICK AT YOUR INGREDIENTS WHILE PREPARING YOUR MEAL YOU WON'T BE HUNGRY WHEN IT COMES TIME TO EAT IT  It's tempting to snack on items that you're working with, I know.  From vegetables to cheese, it's hard not to nibble, especially if you're cooking after work and are already hungry.  Sometimes you're not even hungry and you'll pick at it just 'cause it's there and other times because it's just SO good you can't resist.  Prosciutto is the worst with temptation and I NEVER win against it.


The same is true with the post-prep, when you have a sauce going, or a batter, or one side dish is ready before the meal.  Don't pick at it or "taste" it repeatedly or you'll have this great finished product that you don't even want anymore. 


(For me) the worst part is then finding the patience to sit through someone else eating his meal when you don't even want to eat...  Hate that.


Long and short of the tip: Don't snack on your meal.  Wait to actually eat it sitting down.  Try tricks like doing something that will deter any pre-meal feasting.  Chew gum, brush your teeth (that always ruins the taste of things) or, even better, put in a bleaching tray-then you keep yourself from eating and improve your smile at the same time.



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Grilled Tuna Steak(s)

with Roasted Garlic Rosemary Potatoes

                                                       *Pictured: Lime & Dry Rub Tuna Steaks

This entry looks looooong but it includes THREE variations of Tuna Steak-Marinated, a Picante Dry Rub and a Lime version-all of which are original and all mine. 


Ingredients
2 1 lb cuts of fresh tuna steak cut in half height wise or thick wise, if I can coin a phrase
2 small green chili peppers (something a notch below the heat of a habanero) finely chopped
4 russet potatoes cut up into nothing larger than 2 inches in any direction
8 oz olive oil (2 for potatoes and the remaining for Marinade)
4 garlic cloves diced
1/2 teaspoon fresh rosemary dried crushed rosemary
fresh lime juice
vegetable spray


Marinade:
6 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder


Dry Rub:
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon chili powder


Pre-heat oven to 425º


For the three variations (I have a zillion) I have done tonight, start with the Marinade. In a medium bowl, combine the olive oil and balsamic vinegar and follow with the remaining dry ingredients.  Whisk until a nice even mix has been achieved.  Add all 4 pieces of fish into the Marinade and flip and alternate until all pieces are at least wet or submerged.  Put in the fridge for 30 minutes (rearranging the tuna 15 minutes in).


While the tuna soaks in the Marinade, cut your potatoes and put in a large bowl.  Add 2 tablespoons of the olive oil to the bowl followed by the garlic, salt, pepper and rosemary.  Mix, making sure all pieces of potato are covered.  Empty the contents of the bowl into a glass baking dish prepared with vegetable spray and place on the center rack of the oven.  Cook for 45 minutes.


While you wait for the tuna to marinate and the potatoes to cook, combine the ingredients of the Dry Rub in a small bowl and mix up (with clean, dry fingers or a fork or…to be honest, I don’t care what you use, just mix it) until no one color/ingredient dominates the rub.


Preheat your Grill, Griddler, grill pan or whatever grill-type thing you need on High if you are dealing with slim cuts (like I did here) that you want cooked through or (for thick cuts) if you like your tuna pink in the middle.  Otherwise, Medium-High and do a slow cook to cook all the way through (non-pink) for a thick cut piece so that you don’t over-cook the outsides.  *I’ve screwed this up many times.  It’s an expensive lesson to learn but worth it to get to where you are confident to make it the ideal way.


Remove your tuna from the fridge and move two pieces from the bowl to paper towels and wrap individually.  Pat dry and lay side-by-side on a work surface.  Cover the first tuna steak enough of the Dry Rub that it covers it one whole side and, well, rub it.  Spread the chopped chiles sparingly over the rub. Turn it over and repeat on the other side with the rub and peppers. Leave the second, towel-dried piece alone for now.


Lay the first two portions onto your choice of vegetable sprayed grill-type thing.  Remove the remaining steaks from the bowl and add to the heated surface while still wet.  Douse the odd man out (the non-rub, non-dripping one) in lime juice and season with pepper.  You can re-lime juice him (and drip the remaining marinade on the two “wet” ones) when it comes time to flip.


Cook for about 3 minutes on each side for thin cuts that you want cooked all the way through or thick cuts where you want the middle pink. Use your judgment for thick cuts that you want cooked though-cut through it to test. *Different grills, of whatever type you use, can cook at different "tru temps", so always feel out your own threshhold .


Take out the potatoes at allow to cool for a few minutes and allow the fish to continue cooking.  While this is being done you can prepare your salad, bread or anything else you plan on serving.


Carefully remove the fish from your grill-type thing (if you are a presentation snob like this spaz, you don’t want them to rip or split) and plate with your potatoes and any other accompaniments.




Notes:


Obviously it won't have as many steps when you just pick one variation---I'm the only idiot to do three different types of one fish in one sesssion (and secret: while things were cooking I cooked the scraps a 4th way with dijon mustard as a snack which I'll walk you through another time.)


These were all my creations and unplanned as I had one of those days where you end in Whole Foods with your ingredient list for the meal you planned (excitedly) in your hand only to clench that sucker when you find out that they are not only out of the key ingredient to the thing BUT also the “cheat”, substitute ingredients. 


I was almost as mad as I was from the Honey Incident.


Cheats:
It’s hard to cheat yourself when you make your own recipe, but I still did.  I could have gotten “fresh” ingredients but was too pissed off to look for more vegetables.  If they were out of them, I may have thrown my basket.
I substituted dry crushed rosemary when I should have used fresh.
I also used one of those cheesy plastic lime squeeze things instead of a real lime. No-shame cheat.


Verdict(s):
Marinade Tuna Steak: Success
Lime Tuna Steak: Success
Dry Rub Tuna Steak: Success
Roasted Garlic Rosemary Potatoes: Success


All three variations are neighbor worthy meals to share.

Side note: I am pa-psyched (that's a notch above "psyched") about the dry rub I threw together.  I will be using that on meats, chicken and whatever else I can!



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Prosciutto Bruschetta

with Caramelized Onions and Honey

Ingredients

1 loaf rustic bread (Italian, Wheat, Multi-grain and Sourdough are all fine)

olive oil

butter

salt

sugar

1/4 lb prosciutto di parma (thinly sliced)

Several onions (white, yellow or red) 1 medium vidalia onion

Honey

Caramelized Onions:

Heat a small frying prepared with vegetable spray and 1/2 tablespoon of olive oil.  Peel your onion (for those of us not in a demographic that is appropriate for a Wegman’s and quality produce, you probably have to go many layers deep till you get to usable onion).  Lop off the ends and start slicing ringlets. Big and small rings, all welcome.  Throw them into the pan and cook them up until they have a nice golden glaze with some crispness on the edges and accompanied by a sweet aroma.  Lay the onions onto paper towels to soak up any excess oil.  

While the onions settle, turn your oven to Broil on High.  As the oven heats up some, lay your bread horizontally and slice your bread (I used an oaty whole wheat loaf last night) vertically into 3/4 inch slices.   Place your slices (ignore the heels) directly on the top rack of your oven for 4 minutes before flipping to darken the other side for 3-4 more minutes.  You want to achieve a dark, golden-brown color and crispness to the bread.  *Keep an eye on them to ensure that they don’t char.

Remove the bread and lay the slices on a workspace.  Drizzle each slice with a little olive oil to give a little moisture to your toasted bread.  Fold 1 slice of your prosciutto in a ribbon fashion on top of each plank.  If you have small slices of meat or they fall apart when you peel them from your deli paper (or package if not near a good Italian deli or Wegman’s), use more to cover each slice.

Lay the caramelized onions over your prosciutto in a spread out fashion. Finish your bruschetta with a healthy drizzle of honey.  Cover the creation evenly and lightly, don’t over-saturate with honey or the balance of salty and sweet will be thrown off.  Bruschetta is typically a salty treat, the honey curbs that a little and also gives a golden shimmer to compliment the onions and serves as a contrast to the red of your meat.

Notes:

I pieced this together this truly easy appetizer recipe from memory and years of making it.  It is quick easy and any reason to eat prosciutto is fine with me!

Tweaks:

Most recipes I have found over the years that involve caramelizing onions are, in my opinion, overkill and have unnecessary ingredients like sugar, salt and butter.  They already require pan frying, isn’t that unhealthy enough?  Skip the salt, sugar and butter. Ignore the white, yellow and red onions when at the store and pick a true vidalia. The magic of what is in these onions really brings out a great favor when cooked. They already have the sweetness in them and the prosciutto will more than make up for the salt.

Verdict: Success


This appetizer is always a winner and definitely a neighbor-worthy plate. 



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Learn From My Mistake


Don't Piss Off a Honey Bear: Honey Bears Should NOT Be Left Alone-Especially in the Microwave


A PLASTIC HONEY CONTAINER WILL EXPLODE IN YOUR MICROWAVE IF LEFT IN THERE TOO LONG    And if you're really lucky and time it just right, it will explode right as you open the door and cover not only the inside of the appliance but half of your kitchen and half your body.


If you plan on using this tactic, make sure you keep an eye on the honey and don't forget it's in there.  It's probably a good idea to remove the honey from the container unless your attention span is at least double that of the Honey Bear. 


Personal Note:  That bear is a GIANT bitch.



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Just the Tip

Cheater Tip: Crystalized Honey Can Be Used For Drizzling If Heated Properly


IF YOUR HONEY HAS GONE CRYSTAL, THROW IT IN THE MICROWAVE  Honey that has hardened is still usable and good (granted it is not well past its expiration.)


Empty the crystalized honey from the container and put in in a microwave-safe mug, small bowl or ramekin.  Heat in your microwave for 15 seconds.  Repeat process until softened.  Keep a eye on it. enough to add to your project. 

Just the Tip


Don't Tweak!  Take Your Time


DON'T RUSH Think things through, even if you think you know what you're doing.


Note to self: Seriously, slow down and think!

Dark Chocolate Maple Bacon Cupcakes

Ingredients

dark chocolate cake mix (I used Pillsbury)
1 1/3 cups water
1/4 cup vegetable oil
3 eggs 2 eggs, 1 egg white

nutmeg

cinnamon

25 paper cupcake liner cups

vegetable spray

2 2/3 cups 3 1/3 cups confectioner sugar

3 tablespoons 2 % milk

1/4 teaspoon maple abstract 4 tablespoon low-fat maple syrup

4 oz bacon

Pre-heat oven to 350º

Cupcakes/Bacon:

Follow cake directions to make batter and pour batter into 24 liner cups in either a muffin tin or laid out on a cookie sheet.  Bake as directed on mix box. 

While the cupcakes bake, heat up a medium frying pan (prepared with a vegetable spray like PAM) on medium heat.  While it heats up lay bacon strips horizontally and slice the bacon vertically into 1/2 inch strips.  Place bacon strips into heated pan and cook 5 minutes, draining oil mid-may, until browned and crisp-not burnt.  Place cooked bacon onto paper towels to soak up any excess oil/fat and to dry up. After cupcakes have baked, allow to cool and prepare icing. 

In a medium bowl, combine the sugar and the milk and mix until desired consistency is achieved (you want it thick enough to keep from running of the cupcake but not so thick it rips a moist cupcake.)  I made mine thick enough to spread and thin enough to drizzle.  If you need to thicken your icing, add sugar.  To thin it out, add milk.  When satisfied with thickness, add syrup and mix.

Spoon icing evenly over half of the top of each cupcake (I used 1 soup-spoonful of icing per cupcake) and let it spread out on its own.  For the presentation-minded, let 1 or 2 high held spoonfuls drip in a light stream over all the cupcakes in a haphazard design.

Notes:

I pieced this together from different recipes and tweaked ‘em.   I changed measurements from said recipes and added or swapped items. (Like I my Gristedes has maple extract.)

Tweaks:

Substituted a 3^rd egg with an egg white and added nutmeg and cinnamon to cake mix

Increased the sugar amount and substituted the maple extract with maple syrup for the icing.

Cheats:

My mother and my Aunt Georgia used to laugh at me when I used to say that I wanted to make a cake from scratch.  They would always say “Why would you want to do that when a mix already perfected it?”  Totally legit cheat.

Verdict: Success

What would I change? 

I would do a cake frosting (like for a cake-cake) as opposed to the icing that I made here that is more suited for my mom’s cut-out cookies at Christmas.


This dessert is neighbor-worthy and approved.



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Just the Tip

Cheater Tip: Determine Your Own Cook Time


IF IT DOESN'T LOOK DONE, IT PROBABLY ISN'T  Recipes can be flawed and so can your oven.


Flawed may be the wrong word but your oven may not heat at the same temperature as the dial or digital reading leads you to believe.  Use your judgement whether or not something is done.  Don't be afraid to poke and prod a little.  Cut into a piece of meat or poke to test the firmness of a baked treat. I never got that whole "Put in a toothpick and if it comes out clean, it's done" thing-if there's still batter on that bad boy, you're were waaaaaay premature (even when not competely baked, it will still come out clean) and may want to ignore this tip.  Stick with the directions in your recipe.  Otherwise it's time for a new oven.  Meat Thermometers are good to determine "doneness" of meat, chicken and fish but that seems overly anal to me.


Long and short of the tip: Start like 2 minutes below the recommended cook/bake time of your recipe and then monitor.



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What to Expect From a Manic Cheater

I ADMIT IT-I'M MANIC AND A CHEATER  Sure, I know my way around a kitchen and I'm pretty competent when it comes to making simple to complicated meals.  I know how to wield my utensils and to use my appliances.  I've got my battle scars, whether it be a slight absence of a thumb-tip or a legion of forearm burns. I'm great with presentation and look hot in a solid-colored apron, but am I a pro?  By all means no....I'm just pretty good.

What makes me a cheater?  I call myself a cook although my only training is informal and is based on what I have learned from years of working in my family's various restaurants.  Oh, and I ALWAYS use other peoples' recipes.  I never trust myself to just do my own version of something I've seen my mother do a million times or something I already know how to make and I don't trust other peoples' recipes no matter how good (or famous) they are.  Instead, I kind of mix and match similar recipes from 2 or 3 different pros and steal their ideas, pilfer their creative twists over time and alter things to put my own spin on things.  I'm what comedians would call a "hack".

I'm not afraid to substitute, remove or add ingredients 'cause I don't like them, think something else would work better, don't have them in my kitchen or can't find it them the store (or worse, forgot to buy them even though they were on my shopping list--I HATE that).  I'm also into making healthy substitutions when making favorite dishes that normally increase cholesterol, caloric intake and decrease usable notches on the belt.

Why am I manic?  Ask my mother or my boyfriend.  They've been asking that question for years.  All I know is that I am.  Excitable and quick, I zip around the kitchen like that kid on the street that deserves to be on that yuppie parent's leashed harness.  Do I care?  ....Eh.  And why should anyone else care either?  They get to eat my food!

My advice? Stay outta my way, or better yet, outta my kitchen, when I'm cooking--especially a new recipe--I get excited when on a roll and you could get hurt.

I learn from my mistakes and I make them often enough to know what will work better next time and when it's time to grit my teeth on my way to the cabinet where we keep the take-out menus (Plan B on an off night).  This blog is intended to share my successes and failures in my quest to get better at a craft I truly love as I tweak out in my kitchen and tweak recipes that I can't wait to try out.

Want to be on the mailing list or have a recipes to share? Contact me at themaniccheater@gmail.com.